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SHAWNA'S STORY: A white mother, a black father, a beautiful
baby girl.Twenty six years later, an innocent victim of racism comes face-to-face
with the woman who abandoned her shortly after birth.
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"I want to find my mother," Shawna told me when she first called my office in July of 1993. "I've been trying to find her on my own for about six months, but I don't know what else to do."
I suggested she come to the office so we could discuss her case and determine how to proceed with the search.
The following day Shawna walked into my Los Angeles office. She was tall and thin. The features of her fashion model face were framed by hundreds of long braided strands of black hair. Her appearance was striking. Her personality revealing. She sat across from my desk and told her story.
Shawna's mother, Doris, was white. Her father, Harold, was black. They married in March of 1966. Shawna was born a year and a half later. Her parents separated soon after her birth, and later divorced. According to the divorce papers, her mother originally tried to get custody of her, but for some unknown reason she gave up the effort and allowed Shawna's father to keep her. Her father died several years ago. Now, at 26 years of age, Shawna had not seen or heard from her mother since she was a baby.
Shawna obtained copies of her mother's and father's marriage certificate, her mother's birth certificate, and her own birth certificate.
Using the information contained in the documents, she managed to locate her mother's aunt in Southern California. Prior to her first contact with me, Shawna had called her mother's aunt and asked if she knew where Doris lived. The aunt was unfriendly and not at all sympathetic to Shawna's plight.
"I don't even know a person by the name of Doris. You're wasting your time," she scolded Shawna over the phone. "Sometimes these things are best left alone."
Her attitude and comments indicated she knew more than she was willing to tell.
"I think my mother's family might be prejudiced," Shawna told me. "They probably don't want me in the family because I'm half black. But I don't care," she explained, trying to shield her true feelings. "I just want to meet my mother. I want to see what she's like. If she doesn't want to know me, that's fine. At least then I can go on with my life."
Pausing for a moment, Shawna continued, "I'd like to find out what happened... why she hasn't tried to find me. Maybe she has tried! She couldn't be prejudiced or she wouldn't have married my father. Maybe she wants to find me as much as I want to find her!"
Shawna seemed to be a strong, assertive, and independent young woman. There was no display of sentiment or emotion when she spoke of her past and the need to find the woman who had given her life. With her head tilted down, her big brown eyes pierced upward through fallen strands of braided hair and locked onto mine.
"Don't tell me you're going to find her if you don't think you can," she ordered.
Although somewhat abrasive, her attitude was certainly understandable. She'd talked to other P.I.s and didn't feel she could trust them. I sensed she had
trouble trusting anyone. Who could blame her?
This could turn out to be a difficult case. Women are much harder to locate than men. A woman may have several name changes through divorce and re-marriage. After twenty-six years, Doris could be living in any state, or any country for that matter. But with the information Shawna provided, I was confident I would eventually find her mother.
I asked Shawna to write a letter to her mother. I'd keep this letter with me and if necessary, I'd use it as an ice breaker when I made contact. I suggested she write about what's happened in her life and include some personal thoughts about why she's trying to find her mother.
A couple of days later her letter arrived in my office mail. It read, in part, as follows;
Dear Doris,
My name is Shawna. I was born June 27, 1967 to yourself and Harold... I grew up in Texas where I lived with my Grandmother, Nellie, until about age 5. She is a very kindhearted lady.... She will be 91 years old in a few months.
From then until the age of 17 I lived with my father's niece, and her husband... After graduating from high school, I moved to Los Angeles to live with my father and attend college. My father died in 1989 after a terrible illness..
For whatever reason, you and my father decided to go your separate ways. He never explained why and I never asked him. In any event that was many years ago.
...I feel compelled to meet you. It would make me very, very happy. I would indeed respect your privacy and be most discreet as I do not know your situation. I do not know if your family knows about me. I certainly do not wish you any distress.
I would like... to see you. It has been such a long time. You are my mother. I know you will understand.
Shawna
I located the address of Shawna's grandparents within the next few days. They were still living in the Los Angeles area. I didn't want to interview them until I found out whether or not they knew about Shawna. For now I'd just drive by their house and try to take some pictures.
I got lucky. Shawna's grandfather was working outside in the yard. I shot several good photographs.
I called Shawna and told her I'd located her grandparents and had photographs to show her. She was surprised. She knew they'd be in their seventies by now and she thought they might have passed away. The next day Shawna came to my office.
"That's my Grandpa!" she whispered with a hint of a smile as she examined the photos I'd taken. "I've got his nose and ears. . . and he's tall like me!" she added as a final confirmation. The other half of her biological identity was finally taking form.
The aunt Shawna had previously contacted was very hostile when I showed up at her door a few days later. "I think it's horrible that you're helping this person find her mother after so many years have gone by!" she grumbled.
After several conflicting statements about her relationship to Shawna's mother, the aunt finally told me that she had informed the grandparents about Shawna's phone call to her a few weeks earlier. Now I knew I could contact the grandparents without exposing a "family secret."
I drove straight over to the grandparent's house. Shawna's grandmother answered the door. I introduced myself and explained why I was there. She was very cordial and didn't seem at all surprised by my visit. It was apparent that Shawna's aunt had called and informed the grandmother I was on my way.
Two cars were parked in the driveway but Shawna's grandmother said her husband wasn't home. I had a feeling he was there but he didn't want to deal with this right now.
I asked her if she knew where Doris, (her daughter) was living. "I haven't seen or heard from Doris since she was about twenty-one years old," she answered. "No one in the family has had any contact with her. I don't even know if she's still alive," she added with no sign of emotion.
During our conversation, Shawna's grandmother told me she didn't want Shawna to contact her. "l think she ought to just drop this whole thing," she advised. "Sometimes people are better off not knowing."
When Shawna and I discussed this conversation later, we had our doubts about her grandmother's sincerity. This couple had been married for over fifty years! They had five daughters, and still lived in the same house where they raised their family. It didn't seem likely that they hadn't seen or heard from one of their daughters in over 28 years!
If this was a deliberate deception, did it mean Doris was aware of our search and had instructed her parents to mislead us? Or was the grandmother acting on her own, without Doris's knowledge?
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If you'd like to comment about Shawna's Story
or if you have questions about locating birthparents,
E-mail Tom Grant at...
tomgrant@ernestallen.com
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